Compelling new stories from the psychoanalyst’s consulting room; on desire, heartbreak and learning how to love.

When it comes to love why do we find things so difficult? Drawing on over forty years of candid and surprising conversations with his patients, Stephen Grosz asks, what gets in the way of our falling in love? And what must we do to stay there?

In the intimate space of the consulting room, we meet the woman who can’t post her wedding invitations but then, decades later, can’t decide whether to get divorced; the friendship group that explodes when an adulterous affair begins; and the man whose partner’s death is almost too much to bear.

As an analyst, Grosz’s unerring ability is to locate what ails the heartsick. As a writer, he elegantly shows how we can deploy the agonies of love as tools for understanding.

The labour of love is the work of a lifetime but in finally learning to see ourselves and our world clearly, we find we are truly ready to love one another.

‘This is a beautiful book’ Nigella Lawson

‘You will be better at love after you read this book‘ Andrew Solomon, author of The Noonday Demon

Praise for The Examined Life:

‘Grosz’s vignettes . . . read like pieces of bare, illuminating fiction. Utterly captivating’ Sunday Times

‘I was enthralled . . . profound and moving, large ideas packed into a slim volume’ Observer

This book is about learning to live.

Echoing Socrates’ statement that the unexamined life not worth living, psychoanalyst Stephen Grosz draws on his twenty-five years of work and more than 50,000 hours of conversations to form a collection of beautifully rendered tales that illuminate the human experience.

These are stories about everyday lives: from a woman who finds herself daydreaming as she returns home from a business trip to a young man loses his wallet, to the more extreme examples: the patient who points an unloaded gun at a police officer and the compulsive liar who convinces his wife he’s dying of cancer. The resulting journey will spark new ideas about who we are and why we do what we do.

‘A captivating journey… These are universal themes, insights into an emotional world we inhabit, often with equal difficulty. A wonderful book’ Sunday Times