Protecting delicate sensibilities from the harmful values of yesteryear, You Can’t Say That Any More reveals the shocking danger around us in the books, films and TV shows we used to cherish. From Bambi to Bleak House, from the lack of balcony safeguarding in Romeo and Juliet to the troubling depiction of body dysmorphia in The Very Hungry Caterpillar, we are surrounded on all sides by danger, depravity and profoundly harmful messaging.
Titles taken to task and put on the naughty step (at long last!) include: Postman Pat, Middlemarch, Happy Days, My Fair Lady, the Bible, Pride and Prejudice, Peanuts, Dante’s Divine Comedy, The Wombles, Star Wars, the weather forecast, Bagpuss, Casablanca, Homer’s Iliad and many, many more!

Each entry includes trigger warnings, suggested edits, alternative plots and helpful rewritings of deeply problematic books, films, plays, television series and musicals.

Over 100 all-time favourites disapproved of at length and in detail.

As Holmes and Watson struggle through the Christmas-shopping crowds, they must catch this most dastardly and un-Christmassy of villains, while sneakily trying to purchase each other’s Christmas presents (they are in the world’s least-secret Secret Santa, after all).

Meanwhile, with the museums of London refusing to return cultural artefacts to their countries of origin, someone is taking matters into their own hands, and stealing back what was stolen.

Are the cases connected, and could an ancient air fryer of demonic power hold the key to the mystery of the murdered Santas? And more importantly, can you prepare a whole Christmas dinner in an air fryer*?

*Whether you can or not, Dr Watson’s going to give it a jolly good try. Ho Ho Holmes!

From the author of November 2016 Number One Christmas bestseller, Five on Brexit Island, join the Five in their next hilarious adventure in this bestselling series for grown-ups!

It’s a dark winter’s night and the Five are scaring themselves witless recounting tales that would terrify the bravest of souls. From encounters with American werewolves and being lost in space, to ghostly graveyard apparitions, it is hardly surprising that there is a sleepless night ahead of the intrepid crew. Even grumpy old Uncle Quentin and kind Aunt Fanny cannot be relied upon to be entirely themselves . . .