‘The two funniest women on planet earth right now.’ Dolly Alderton

‘I want to be Fi and Jane when I grow up.’ Clare Balding

‘A book like no other. Honest and very, very funny. Some bits made me want to cheer.’ Sara Cox

‘If you loved the late, great Victoria Wood, then you’ll love Fi and Jane too.’ Red magazine

Award-winning broadcasters Fi Glover and Jane Garvey don’t claim to have all the answers (what was the question?), but in these hilarious and perceptive essays they take modern life by its elasticated waist and give it a brisk going over with a stiff brush.

They riff together on the chuff of life, from pet deaths to broadcasting hierarchies, via the importance of hair dye, the perils and pleasures of judging other women, and the perplexing overconfidence of chino-wearing middle-aged white men named Roger.

Did I Say That Out Loud? covers essential life skills (never buy an acrylic jumper, always decline the offer of a limoncello), ponders the prudence of orgasm merchandise and suggests the disconcerting possibility that Christmas is a hereditary disease, passed down the maternal line.

At a time of constant uncertainty, what we all need is the wisdom of two women who haven’t got a clue what’s going on either.

In Last Seen Wearing, Inspector Morse is reluctant to take over an old missing person case from a dead colleague. But two years, three months and two days after teenager Valerie Taylor’s disappearance, somebody decides to supply some surprising new evidence. . .

In The Silent World of Nicholas Quinn Inspector Morse tackles the murder of an exam invigilator. The newly appointed member of the Oxford foreign exam syndicate was deaf, and he wasn’t from the insular world of the Oxford colleges. Now he is dead.

After he’s rushed into hospital, Inspector Morse becomes intrigued by an old crime in The Wench is Dead. Could the wrong men have been hanged for the murder of Joanna Franks?

Plus Colin Dexter reads his own short story, The Double Crossing, in which it is a good first day for a certain detective named Lewis.

Gripping, suspenseful and entertaining, these BBC dramatisations were adapted by Guy Meredith from the original Inspector Morse novels by Colin Dexter.

Duration: 4 hours 45 mins approx.

One of the most popular TV comedies of the Seventies, Whatever Happened to the Likely Lads? won a best sitcom BAFTA and attracted an audience of millions before being adapted for radio.

In these 13 episodes, we catch up with Newcastle lads Bob and Terry as they meet by chance after years apart. Now engaged to Thelma, Bob is having pre-wedding nerves; while Terry, demobbed from the Army, is having trouble adjusting to life in civvy street. As they rekindle their friendship, Bob tries to find Terry a date, throws him a surprise party and takes him to the hairdressers to get a new look. In addition, Terry gets some shock news, and helps Bob get ready for his and Thelma’s big day?

Originally lost from the BBC archive, the audio for many of these episodes was recovered by producer Stan Was, the BBC’s Archive Treasure Hunt, and a listener to BBC7.

The episodes included are Strangers on a Train, Home is the Hero, Cold Feet, Moving On, I’ll Never Forget Whatshername, Birthday Boy, No Hiding Place, Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner?, Storm in a Tea Chest, The Old Magic, Count Down, Boys’ Night In and End of an Era.

Duration: 6 hours 30 mins

‘There’s nothing to touch them’ – Independent on Sunday

Richmal Crompton’s stories featuring irrepressible schoolboy William Brown have been firm favourites with both young and old for decades. Perpetually scruffy, mud-stained and mischievous, he is a lovable scamp whose pranks usually end in disaster – for his harassed elders at least.

With friends Ginger, Douglas and Henry (the Outlaws) and the angelic thorn-in-his-side, the lisping Violet Elizabeth Bott, William has rightly joined the literary, and radio, immortals.

Martin Jarvis, who has been hailed as ‘the wizard of the talking book’ (The Daily Telegraph), has made the voice of William his own, and this collection of 54 laugh-out-loud stories will delight long-standing fans and first-time listeners alike.

Also included are two bonus interviews with Richmal Crompton, recorded in 1965 and 1968.

Musical Theme: Won’t You Be My Ginger? composed and performed by Richard Dworsky (piano) (c) 1995 Inner Vista Music (BMI)

The stories included in this collection are:

The Christmas Truce
Only Just in Time
The Midnight Adventure of Miss Montague
William and the Musician
William Leads a Better Life
William and the Twins
William’s Birthday
William and the Little Girl
The Outlaws and Cousin Percy
William and the Princess Goldilocks
The Sweet Little Girl in White
A Birthday Treat
The Outlaws and the Triplets
A Bit of Blackmail
William Makes a Night of It
William and the Lost Tourist
The Leopard Hunter
The New Neighbour
William the Philanthropist
William and the Prize Cat
William Holds the Stage
William and the School Report
All the News
Aunt Arabelle in Charge
William’s Goodbye Present
William the Salvage Collector
William’s Day Off
Entertainment Provided
William and the Brains Trust
William and the Bomb
William Goes Shopping
Violet Elizabeth Runs Away
William and the Real Laurence
The Outlaws and the Hidden Treasure
William and the Fairy Daffodil
The Best Laid Plans
Mrs Bott’s Hat
William Starts the Holidays
William Plays Santa Claus
William and the Snowman
Revenge is Sweet
William and the Black Cat
William and the Russian Prince
William’s Busy Day
William – The Great Actor
William and the White Elephants
Finding a School for William
William Clears the Slums
Parrots for Ethel
William’s Truthful Christmas
Boys will be Boys
William and the Ebony Hair-Brush
William and the Old Man in the Fog

Forced up the chimneys of Hartover Hall by his cruel master, Grimes, young Tom gets lost and comes down the wrong one, frightening little Miss Ellie. In the chase that follows, he is rescued by the fairies and taken to be a water baby under the waves. There, he makes friends with sea creatures such as the Lobster and meets the beautiful, kind fairy Mrs Doasyouwouldbedoneby and her ugly, unpleasant sister Mrs Bedonebyasyoudid. When he is introduced to the other Water Babies, he is reunited with Ellie, who has also been transformed. With her support, he sets off on a quest to the Other-End-Of-Nowhere. But first he must find Mother Carey’s peace pool – and help out the last person he wants to save: his former master…

Oliver Peace stars as Tom, with Timothy West as Charles Kingsley and Julia McKenzie as Mrs Doasyouwouldbedoneby and Mrs Bedonebyasyoudid. Dramatised by Berlie Doherty. The wonder and excitement of much-loved children’s classics lives on in BBC Radio’s acclaimed full-cast dramatisations, complete with evocative music and sound effects. Duration: 3 hours approx.

When he crashes in the Sahara Desert, the Aviator believes he is all alone – until he meets an unusual space traveller: a boy with golden hair who calls himself The Little Prince. As the Aviator repairs his plane, the Little Prince tells him fantastical tales about his amazing interplanetary journey. On his home planet, asteroid B-612, he fell in love with a beautiful rose, but left her to explore the universe. In the course of his travels, he has met people including a King, a drunkard and a lamplighter, as well as a snake and a wise fox – but now he must return home and be reunited with his rose…

A classic story about love, friendship and loss, The Little Prince is one of the most read books in the world. The wonder and excitement of much-loved children’s classics lives on in BBC Radio’s acclaimed full-cast dramatisations, complete with evocative music and sound effects. Duration: 1 hour approx.

Spring, 1543. London’s streets are filled with preachers; strange signs and portents are seen everywhere; and young men, maddened by differing interpretations of the Bible, are drawn into dangerous fundamentalism.

The family of one such man, Adam Kite, has sought help from lawyer Matthew Shardlake. Adam is suffering from religious mania, and is being held in Bedlam for his own safety. But Shardlake is distracted from the case when his friend Roger Elliard is found brutally murdered – the victim of a serial killer inspired by the Book of Revelation.

Archbishop Cranmer asks Shardlake to conduct a secret investigation: no word of the bloodshed must reach the King as one of the dead men was close to Catherine Parr, Henry’s latest romantic obsession and (like Cranmer) a supporter of religious reform.

With the help of trusty sidekick Barack, Shardlake embarks on his most dangerous investigation yet, as he tries to protect Adam and prevent the killer from fulfilling his unholy mission…

This thrilling fourth instalment of the ‘Shardlake’ series stars Justin Salinger as Shardlake, with Bryan Dick as Barak. Duration: 2 hours 10 mins approx.

There she is confronted by an exceptionally odd cast of characters: grief-stricken Judith, fervently religious Amos, the lusty smouldering Seth, wild and mysterious Elfine and, of course, the invisible tyrant Great Aunt Ada Doom who saw something nasty in the woodshed. Many would be overcome by the simmering passions of the Starkadder family, but not Flora. All they need is a little organising.

Stella Gibbons’ deliciously witty parody has been delighting readers since 1932 and retains its original sunny charm in this BBC Radio 4 full-cast dramatisation. Duration: 2 hours approx.

Alan Bennett’s distinctive readings of these cherished children’s stories have become classics in their own right. Portraying each character in his own inimitable fashion, his delightfully expressive voice perfectly conveys the sparkling humour, charm and magic of these timeless tales.

The Wind in the Willows tells the classic story of Ratty, Mole, Badger and Toad (of Toad Hall) and their waterside adventures.

Alice in Wonderland sees Alice following a white rabbit down a hole and embarking on a series of adventures with some of the most weird and wonderful characters ever encountered.

Through the Looking Glass continues Alice’s adventures, as she sees another world in the looking glass and wishes she could go there.

In a selection of stories from Winnie-the-Pooh, Pooh goes visiting and gets into a tight place, Eeyore loses a tail, Piglet meets a Heffalump, Eeyore has a birthday, and an ‘expotition’ to the North Pole is mounted.

The House at Pooh Corner finds Pooh and Piglet building a house for Eeyore, whilst Tigger comes to the forest and has breakfast. Piglet nearly meets the Heffalump again, Pooh invents a new game, and Owl moves house.

Duration: 7 hours 50 mins approx.